


Accents

by ClockworkDinosaur



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Meteorstuck, Shipping isn't really the focus here, Short, but it's still there so i'm throwing it in that tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 10:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8098852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClockworkDinosaur/pseuds/ClockworkDinosaur
Summary: Vriska questions Dave's way of speaking.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I keep starting fics and then not finishing them, so I did this in an hour to prove that I can actually finish something.   
> Seriously my WIP folder is getting out of hand :/
> 
>  
> 
> Also disclaimer: I live in the South and my accent can get pretty heavy at times, so excuse Dave's attitude towards his :P

“So here's something I've been wondering,” Vriska said loudly, throwing herself on the couch next to Dave with a bounce and no prior greeting. Dave and Karkat, who had been intently watching Karakt's laptop where a movie of his choice played, both jumped at the shrill interruption.

“Oh nice, suddenly Vriska is here. Hey Karkat, Vriska's here and totally not interrupting anything to ask a lame-ass question,” Dave said. Karkat paused the movie and glared.

“What do you want, Vriska? I'm trying to show Dave what a quality film looks like and I don't need you in here making everyone unhappy with your very presence,” Karkat said. “More than you already do, anyway,” he added at a volume that was almost quiet.

“So Dave,” Vriska started, completely ignoring Karkat. “You and Lalonde sound really different, but you basically come from the same place, what's with that?”

Dave looked at her stoically. “I was raised in a laboratory. The scientists trained me every day from the time I was able to hold my head up on my own to speak in this horrible, grating accent and I was never able to undo the horrible psychological and linguistic damage.”

Without another word, Dave turned back to the screen.

“You're lying, Dave,” Vriska said, glaring. “Here I am, trying to ask a simple friendly question due to my curiosity about your culture and you feed me blatant lies.”

“If he tells you, will you fuck off and leave us alone?” Karkat butted in.

Dave raised an eyebrow. “I _was_ telling the complete truth, I swear on the holiest book on this goddamn meteor. I'm sure Gamzee can hook me up with some sorta religious text so I can prove to y'all my truthfulness.”

“Fuck Gamzee and his batshit crazy religious paraphernalia, now _I_ want to know,” Karkat said. “You and Rose do have really different ways of speaking now that I think about it, why the fuck.”

“Because Rose was grown in a different lab that focused on making her talk like someone's about to come in and judge her diction at any given moment. She's almost worse than Kanaya, it's like they're both competing to sound like the most pretentious English major,” Dave said.

“ _Daaaaaaaave,_ ” Vriska whined. “Stop being a jerk for a second and give a straight answer.”

“I could never give a straight answer,” Dave said, one side of his mouth pulling into a smirk. Vriska squinted.

“Jegus Dave, just tell Vriska so she'll fucking leave and we can get back to our movie,” Karkat said, exasperated.

Dave groaned, throwing his head back against the couch cushions dramatically. “Haven't y'all heard of an accent? Doesn't Aradia's ancestor have one? I'm sure it ain't that much of an alien concept, god.”

“Of course we know what accents are you fucking bucket-chugger! But you and Rose came from the same place, Damara came from where-the-fuck-ever far away in an entirely different universe. You and Rose should sound the same, technically,” Karkat said.

“The landmass formerly known as the United States was a big place with lots of horrible cultural differences, including accents, that made literally every region insufferable,” Dave explained as if talking to a pre-schooler. “I came from the deep south and Rose came from up north. I'm sure when y'all finally talk to John and Jade in person, you'll find out that they sound pretty fucking different as well. Actually, Jade didn't actually grow up on the same goddamn continent so who the hell knows what she sounds like. There were a lot of human accents and all of them sucked, but the Southern drawl you hear from me is by far the absolute fucking worst. Linguistics lesson over, Professor Strider is done,” Dave said, crossing his arms.

Vriska tilted her head. “I don't understand why living in a slightly different location would make your entire accent different,” she mused.

“Didn't Alternia have different countries and regions? Diverse cultures and shit?” Dave asked.

“No, it was just all Alternia,” she said. “Easier to control one unified mass of trolls than to separate them into separate countries.”

“Scary place,” Dave said with a frown.

“Yeah we can all agree that Alternia sucked, but can we talk about that shitty planet some other time? And by _we_ I mean literally anyone else excluding me because I don't want to hear it,” Karkat said.

“Shouty is right, and I think I've taken up enough time on your date anyway,” Vriska said as she stood. Dave and Karkat exchanged wide-eyed glances at the word _date_ , which Vriska noted with a laugh.

“Oh come on you two, watching stupid romantic comedies together, all close on the couch? Face the fact that you two are flushed for each other so the rest of us don't have to beat around it anymore,” she said, before turning and leaving the two alone.

“What a bitch,” Karkat grumbled, turning the movie back on.

Neither of them ended up denying that it was a date.

 


End file.
